Yucky winter blues

I am very much struggling today.  In all honesty, I have been struggling for the past couple weeks.  I feel like the weather is to blame.  I don't remember a previous winter that lasted so long.  I think this might be another side effect of getting old...older.  Every time I go outside I want to cuss.  I seriously can't stand this cold weather.  I have two kids home sick today.  What have I accomplished today??  Ummm, not a lot.  I just want to lay in bed and hide until Spring has arrived and I bust out my flip flops.  As I type this I am watching the snow falling down outside by the truck load.  My darling daughter is playing Christmas music on my phone!  Lord, how I want to escape.  Ever feel that way?  Spring break is 4 small weeks away.  We plan on going camping...in Indiana.  Yikes, I am wondering if we will make it.  I am not up for camping when it is freezing.  We have to come up with a plan B.  I informed Jeff tonight my plan B is just get in the car and drive south until I am warm.  His response was for me to go to the tanning bed instead.  I reminded him we don't have the extra money for me to go tanning.  Then, he gave me the look.  The look that says, 'oh, but we have the money to drive south?'  Since we have been married we have been on a budget of some sort.  I know our family and friends get sick of hearing us say, 'sorry, it's not in the budget' or 'soon we will be debt free'.  But I am saying people, we are almost there!  We are so close.  We are so close to being debt free.  I am so focused, pumped, determined and filled with gazelle intensity to reach our goal.  We are living on beans and rice, rice and beans.  Well, not really rice and beans.  Last night I made a quiche with some old ham in the fridge.  I made gluten free pancakes.  My sister gave me some gf stuff after she did a diet.  We are not a gf family, but I never pass up anything free.  I filled the pancakes with some fresh blueberries that were past their prime.  My family loved it.  I made an oatmeal bake for breakfast this morning.  It literally costs probably under $2 to make.  It was delicious.  I am really enjoying making meals out of nothing.  The last two weeks my grocery budget was $75 for each week.  That is tight!  We are a family of six.  Did I mention we are not eating out?  We made it over 3 weeks before I caved and ordered pizza.  But I had a coupon.  This week our budget will have to be incredibly more.  We are out of everything.  I was explaining to the kids that our food light is on.  Much like when the fuel light comes on in the car (something my kids are way too familiar with), our food light is on in the house.  I could take the money to stock up, but I would rather watch our savings grow.  Plus, we haven't gone hungry.  Tonight we are having rice with chicken and veggies.  While the weather is so undesirable I really feel the need to declutter and eliminate the unneccessaries.  I just need to locate the motivation.  I think I am just having an undesirable week.  I started Monday morning off with my annual and a mammogram.  I had so much anxiety.  When I sat down with the lady who does the mammogram I said to her, "I just really feel too young to be here."  Her reply, "Yeah, well you are not!"  She was so sweet and kind and too honest!  It makes me laugh thinking about it.  I was leaving the appointment and I thought to myself "that was so easy.  I can't believe I was so nervous.  I would rather do that than get my teeth cleaned."  Right at that moment I received a text message from my dentist reminding me I have a cleaning in the morning.  Ugh!  I also have two sick kids at home.  And we are in the middle of a snow storm.  But God is good!  I am still filled with love and gratitude to God for this amazing life.  I am so blessed that I get to watch the snow from the comfort of my home, instead of driving in rush hour traffic.  My kids will return to school tomorrow.  I did enjoy spending the day with them.  Jonah said to me today, "mom, you know what would be sooo cool?  If we had $100!!"  I burst out laughing.  He said, "or maybe a one million dollars!"  Juliet is going through all my accessories right now.  She just came up behind me and put a lei around my neck.  I think she is ready for summer too.  And doesn't everyone have a lei in their accessories!?  Jeff has been working his tail off working overtime so we can reach our financial goals.  He does so much for us.  He never seems to stop.  I think I just found my motivation to get up and be productive.