Crap, crap and more crap

Today I did indeed take the kiddos swimming. I didn't even bother taking my camera along. Since I still don't have my camera cord I knew it would just lead to more frustration. Today was horrible. Yesterday I was frustrated today I was just blah, melancholy and depressed. Today was terrible. I asked Jeff if I could blame it on the devil. Swimming was fine. The kids were fantastic. It didn't start out so well. It was me, not them. I called the dealership that our van is working on while walking out to the pool. Then I had a complete breakdown. So, my mom and April watched the boys while I tried to gather myself back together. Do you ever have one of those times when one thing goes wrong but while you are upset about that everything else in life comes to the surface. Okay, that happened to me. My poor dad, I really unloaded on him. Well, and my grandma I kinda unleashed myself on her too. Her advice was I needed to let Jeff handle the car situation that men handle things like that better. WRONG! Wow! I did really refrain because all instinct in me wanted to hold her under the water until she started thinking right. However, given she is like 90 she probably wouldn't change her way of thinking that easy. But I did manage to yell out at her, "that is complete bull shit!" on the top of my lungs. Then I stormed inside and started crying again for yelling at my like 90 year old grandma. Well, and for cussing. I have really been trying to not cuss at all anymore. I told my dad, "she made me cuss! She drove me to cuss out loud in front of everyone!" Dad said he wanted to cuss her out the other day too. My grandma has crafted the skill of getting under ones skin extremely quickly. That was definitely a hot button she pushed. I pretty much decided I think at the age of 4 that there was nothing in this world a woman couldn't do. Calling a mechanic to argue why my van isn't done after four days is NOT something a man needs to handle. Now, maybe poop scooping the yard or taking out the dead mouse in the house those may classify as 'man' jobs. However, if I had to I would do those things too. So anyhow, today has been one of the lousiest days I have had probably in the last 12 months. I am down in the dumps. It is not just the van. Sometimes I wonder if my brain was wired wrong. I just think so differently than most of my family. I raise my kids differently. We manage our marriage differently. Absolutely we manage money very differently. I find more often than not lately thinking, "I don't know if I agree with that." Is that true in most families? In a family everyone is raised pretty much the same. So, is it usual for everyone to think the same?