Sunday, August 22, 2010

Sleepless in Indy

It is 3am and I am exhausted. I want to sleep so badly. However, I keep having nightmares. Now, I am forcing myself to stay awake for fear of going back to sleep. This is ridiculous. I haven't had nightmares since our pastor came and blessed our home...until tonight. Still they are not nearly as horrible as before. And I am in my office. Where before I would have been too terrified to get out bed. So, is that progress? I just get frustrated because I really thought this was behind me. But I am wondering if eating a cookie right before going to bed is actually the culprit. Don't they say you shouldn't eat before going to bed? My alarm is set for 5am. I guess in a little bit I will just get in the shower. We have church in the morning. I am really debating on taking the kids or if we/Jeff or me should stay home with them. They all have the sniffles. Jacob came to my bed at midnight and said he is so sick. He was coughing horrible and couldn't sleep. I just checked on the other two boys. Jonah peed the bed tonight. I tried to wake him to change the bedding and his clothes. But he is sleeping so soundly he wouldn't move. Is that horrible? When I put more blankets on Jackson he moved around and began coughing again. I am almost thinking they shouldn't go to church. Sometimes it is so hard being a parent to make decisions like that. Really, could it be like allergies/sinus? But since they all have it then it must be contagious? I don't know.

Tonight was our niece Emily's 7th birthday party. They boys had a blast. It is so cool to watch them interact with other people and see them come out of their shell. I really had a good time seeing everyone. Emily got her ears pierced for her birthday. Isn't that so grown up? It looks really cute on her.

Jeff has finally decided to attend the Great Banquet in September. He will attend two weeks before me. I am so excited he has made this decision. Something I didn't think about was being home alone. Geez, I used to live alone but now I get all freaked out. I think we will have to make some arrangements.

I have now been up for over an hour. Prior to coming upstairs to blog I was writing in my journal. I decided to write out our financial goals. I wish we had more short term goals, but the majority of them are going to take a lot of time. I am so impatient. I guess of few of them are short term. They include rebuilding our emergency fund (since we depleted it for our van), gathering enough cash for the boys' birthday and then Christmas, saving enough cash for Jeff's college tuition, continuing to grow our emergency fund 3 to 6 months of living expenses, reimburse the 20% down we used on our current home and then saving to pay cash for our next home. I really don't want to be here any longer than need be. But I think if I don't go back to work it will be a long time before we can start packing. Ugh! That is frustrating. I want to start looking for my 'dream' home. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. I will keep repeating that to myself.

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